I keep waiting for something to come, like this magic thing to come down and be like, okay, this is what you're supposed to do. Okay, this is your path, okay? These are your gifts and this is how you use them. Where's my manual? 

Hello and welcome to Hitchhiker's Guide to Humanity. This is Erica, your host, fellow hitchhiker and psychic. Today, we're talking about living in between. So lately, I have been kind of living in between the spiritual world and the, I guess we'll say, human world. It's. It's been a lot. I lost my grandmother. She was one hundred and two. So she lived a nice, long life, but she helped raise me and so I, I don't know, life really without her. And so I've been trying to figure out this in-between stage that I'm in. I quit my corporate job. If you've been following this podcast, you know this already, but I quit my corporate job about two years ago. I was a marketing manager, and now I am not defined by a job and I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I did get asked to read tarot at a rock shop here, and that was exciting because I'd be doing it in like real life. And it means that I've that I'll finally be able to like, move forward. I'm also a graphic designer. I love graphic design. I've helped out with Doctor Abdul El-sayed's campaign by making a few graphics. And that's been really great. But it's like I can't seem to find my footing in life. One step in the human part and then one step in the the other part. The spiritual part. I feel a little lost. I don't know what to do next. And I've never had that problem. You know, I'm an Aries sun. Capricorn moon. I always have a plan. And I always have like a way to move forward. And I'm very driven. And it's like, all of a sudden, I'm not anymore. I'm in my childhood bedroom. This is where I came at five years old and I'm back in the same bedroom. Like, what does that say? This could be a really great moment for me to review my life, or it could be a place where I let it get to me, and I go back to all the trauma that I had, and I don't want that because I feel like I've transmuted a lot of that energy. I don't know where to go from here. When you become a spiritual person and you go through a spiritual awakening or you become a different person. You feel like something comes along with that. But it's also about leaving who you were before. And that is really, really difficult because that's the person that got you through everything. I'm having trouble having that one foot in my old life and my one foot in my new life. I know I'm not the only one. I've seen it. I've seen people have the same issue and they're around my age too. So I get it. And really, with how society is right now, who knows what the future brings. There's so much going on. It's almost like you can't even pick which tragedy to feel awful about. I feel awful about all of them. I want everybody to get justice. But it's just one thing after another, after another, after another. And it's like our nervous systems weren't meant to do this. They weren't meant to have things one after another and after another. And so it's like trying to do that. It's just I don't know where my energy is supposed to go. You know, where is my energy supposed to go when everything is coming at us like a bullet train? And, and I want to do something. I have this need inside of me to try to figure it out, try to fix it, try to get an idea that will bring it out. Try to send the right energy. I don't know, as a psychic, you know, try to tap in to something that can help someone. There's only so much you can do. It's just really hard. I keep waiting for something to come, like this magic thing to come down and be like, okay, this is what you're supposed to do. Okay? This is your path. Okay? these are your gifts and this is how you use them. Where's my manual? I mean, this podcast is called Hitchhiker's Guide to Humanity. And I made it because I wanted it to be a guide to being human with spiritual knowledge. But really, it's become asking questions about being human and how really spiritually, if you are going on the spiritual path, you really do end up just being human. Because what's the point in learning all this spiritual stuff if you're not going to make your human life better? There's no point to it. Why would you do that? Being a human is what it's about. I'll learn all that other stuff later. Right. Like it's going to come once I am past this world. And I'll know all the answers to everything. Everybody knows the answers once we leave here. So if you. If you're always searching for those answers. I want to know what happens after we die. I want to know, you know, what the what space really is, how big the universe is. These are interesting things. Totally fascinating. And I want to know these things too. Don't get me wrong. I want to know them. But if that's what you spend all your time doing and you don't go back into your body and ground yourself, you're missing out on a really important part about being human, which is the humanity of it, living in the present moment. Your past doesn't exist. Your future doesn't exist. They are both in your mind. The present moment is all we have. But living in your present moment in a environment like this is incredibly difficult because there's so much coming at you. There's so much to make your nervous system go out of whack. We can't even eat the food, at least in the United States. We can't have salad, we can't have berries. We can't. I mean, it's just gotten completely people want to escape that. And so I think a lot of spirituality, a lot of these people are escaping that by trying to figure out a way to predict what's going to happen in the future, predict what's happening now, you know, somehow try to figure out how we're going to make it out of this. And I'm not saying they're wrong because I believe I'm psychic. I believe in other psychics. I believe in, you know, precognition and all of that. I'm not saying they're wrong. I'm just saying that our focus is energy is currency here on earth. Our focus is currency, and it matters where you put your focus. If we are constantly having both feet in like the spiritual world, you're not going to see what's happening in your present moment, in your human world. And that's a problem because you are just a human right now. Whether we have the souls of, you know, like I have an angelic soul. Other people do. Other people have, you know, from other planets like, I believe this, our souls, there's a lot of different things going on in our souls. But I am in a human body right now. So the reason I came down here, the reason I am here, is to experience being human and to experience it in a way that's different from any other time I've been human. I feel like I'm wasting it. I know that I, I incarnated here for a reason and if you're watching this, you did too. Or listening to this, I'm going live on TikTok as well. But if you came here during this period of time, you are here for a reason. You are here to help transition us into the next stage of life, into the evolution of the human body, into the evolution of our planet. Whether that goes well or not is really up to us and our energy and our focus. I've always said this the A team is here. The reason that a lot of people have past life readings and figure out that there are these extravagant beings is because who wouldn't be here during this time? But the A team, right? It's because you know, Egyptian gods, deities, angels, whatever you want to say. We're all here and we're trying to make this a better place. And it's working, but it's slow. It's murky. That's a good word for it. It's a murky energy. And it's like that on purpose. It didn't have to be this hard. If we had focused together and not gotten distracted, I think it could have gotten better. And this isn't to this isn't to blame anyone. This is how it is. You know, this is this timeline. This is how it goes. And I do see it changing. It's just that the energy here is very thick and it doesn't change quickly. It's like trying to move. Oh, I just got the scene from. If you've ever seen, um, I can't remember Mike Myers. He was in the. He's the. Yeah, baby. I can't, I can't. Oh my gosh. Anyways, he has that scene where he's trying to move his heart and he's stuck. He's stuck in the hallway. And that's how I see us. We can get out. We keep turning, we keep turning. We can get out of the spot. But it's going to take a while. It takes a lot of maneuvering and a lot of patience and a lot of fighting back and waking up to something. And I don't mean just spiritually. I mean just waking up and seeing things for what they are. This kind of started out that I was having trouble figuring out what I want to do. Sometimes when you have like, I have a lot of things that I love to do, sometimes when you have things you you love to do, and in this particular timeline, you don't want to monetize everything. What do you monetize? What do you not because I'm not going back to corporate America. That ain't happening. You have to figure out what's next, right? And so that's what I've been trying to figure out. And trying to balance all of that has been a chore, especially as I'm grieving the loss of my wonderful grandma. I just moved, and I don't have a job. Technically, not technically. I don't have a job, and I haven't had one for like two years. Because once you leave corporate America and you're burnt out, you have to rest. And I was privileged enough to be able to rest for a little while, but now I don't know what I want to do. And I always thought it would be something spiritual, because why give me these gifts of being psychic, a healer, you know, an intuition to be able to, you know, clear audience, which is stuff you can hear, right? I hear stuff, I see stuff. Why do that if it's not meant to be shared? But it's also like, who am I to think that I'm worthy enough to to do that when there's lots of other people who do that. You know, I don't know. I just keep trying to figure it out. I don't know what will happen. And for me, it's it's interesting because I've always been uncomfortable with uncertainty, very, very, very uncomfortable to a very large degree. And right now, everything in my life is upside down. And luckily I have medication that I take that keep me from, you know, losing it. But it's a weird feeling when you don't know what's coming next, you know? But that's why I'm here. That's why we're here. It's like our murder mystery science theater trip. You know, we come down here to play, and even though it's not playful right now at all, it's very tragic. I don't have an ending to that sentence. My heart hurts. It hurts for Gaza. It hurts for the Sudan. The Congo. Name your country, right? I hurt for the black people and Nolan Wells and Puerto Rico. They don't have water and Cuba like. Name your thing. There's so many things. It's almost hard to imagine that this was something that I wanted to incarnate and be here for when it's so tragic and so dark. But I, I have fought the dark in my past, and I'm pretty sure most people here who are incarnated right now have as well. It's not an easy thing to do. I do it in my dreams. I don't have the answers to living in between, other than there's a balance that has to be created and maintained in order to do it. And I'm looking for that, and I will continue looking until the last breath in my lungs. Until next time, peace and love to us all.